Date: Friday, February 4th, 2011
Word of the Day: eclat (ey\KLAH); brilliance of success; reputation, etc; showy or elaborate display
Weight: two hundred and six (206) pounds
Goal: lose one hundred (100) pounds in one year duration
Pounds to lose: seventy-four (74)
Image via Wikipedia
Waist Size: forty-one (41)
Days until Royal Wedding: eighty-five (85)
Rowing Duration: thirty-one (31) minutes, ten (10) seconds
It is Friday yet again, and you made it to another weekend, I hope you all have a good one. My weekend is expected to be quiet, so in all likelihood, I shall be busy, because in my life whenever I am expecting something, the exact opposite always happens, or most of the time, which qualifies me to make that statement.
I finished reading the novel, "The Apothecary's Daughter," written by Julie Klassen, last night, it was a good read, albeit disappointing ending, for me at least. However, I may now read Ms. Klassen's first novel, "Lady of Milkwood Manor," if any of you have read this novel, please let me know what you thought of it.
I am late with today's post because I went this morning to do the blood work, I prefer to go early and not have to wait in line for others also doing blood work, it was a good thing too, as quite a large crowd gathered at the clinic shortly after I arrived there, whew, just in the nick of time!
Since I do not have alot on my mind this morning, I thought I would provide you with seven (7) examples of passive voice, and how to fix them.
The sentence construction “(noun) (verb phrase) by (noun)” is known as passive voice or passive construction, because the true subject is relegated to the end of the sentence and is thus acted on, rather than acting, which often weakens the statement.
The solution is simple: Give the focal point of the sentence its due, “(noun) (verb) (noun),” and demote the false subject to the back of the line. Note that not every passive construction is evil, sometimes what seems to be the false subject is worthy of prominence, but a preponderance of passive constructions leads to a wearying read.
1. “There is a considerable range of expertise demonstrated by the spam senders.” The actors in this little drama are the spam spenders, or, to be more active, the spam senders are the actors in this little drama. Direct them center stage, and send the weak “there is” opening packing to the provinces: “The spam senders demonstrate a considerable range of expertise.”
2. “It was determined by the committee that the report was inconclusive.” Again, the subject is weak and indeterminate. Two actors, the committee and the report, are vying for the lead role here, but committee is the bearer of the news about the report, and to place the report the head of the sentence would be to replace one passive sentence with another. Attend to the actors: “The committee determined that the report was inconclusive.”
3. “We were invited by our neighbors to attend their party.” We is stronger than it as a sentence opener, but “our neighbors” is stronger still: “Our neighbors invited us to attend their party.”
4. “Groups help participants realize that most of their problems and secrets are shared by others in the group.” This sentence starts off actively but then turns and bellies up in the middle; emphasizing “others in the group” over “most of their problems and secrets” makes the sentence more active: “Groups help participants realize that others in the group share most of their problems and secrets.”
5. “The proposed initiative will be bitterly opposed by abortion rights groups.” The content may be about the proposed initiative, but that doesn’t preclude given a sentence about it a more dynamic structure: “Abortion rights groups will bitterly oppose the proposed initiative.”
6. “Minor keys, model movement, and arpeggios are shared by both musical traditions.” The writer is detailing key information at the head of this sentence, but starting off with the context is stronger: “Both musical traditions share minor keys, model movement, and arpeggios.”
7. “In this way, the old religion was able to survive the onslaught of new ideas until the old Gods were finally displaced by Christianity.” Remember when I wrote that not every passive voice should be targeted for reconstruction? This sentence is more active, but no more correct: “In this way, the old religion was able to survive the onslaught of new ideas until Christianity finally displaced the old gods.” Perhaps the newcomer, Christianity, should also come later in the sentence.
Again, don’t indiscriminately exterminate passive construction at the expense of the writer’s voice or intent, but do exercise judicial revision to rejuvenate pallid prose.
I know that learning new ideas may be difficult, but if you apply the above, you will see a great improvement in your daily writing, and more important, others will see the improvement!
Have a great weekend and take care out there, they say it is going to get milder, they also say "The Easter Bunny" had a sex change operation.
Topics coming soon:
Art
Politics
Cartoons
Word of the Day: eclat (ey\KLAH); brilliance of success; reputation, etc; showy or elaborate display
Weight: two hundred and six (206) pounds
Goal: lose one hundred (100) pounds in one year duration
Pounds to lose: seventy-four (74)
Image via WikipediaWaist Size: forty-one (41)
Days until Royal Wedding: eighty-five (85)
Rowing Duration: thirty-one (31) minutes, ten (10) seconds
It is Friday yet again, and you made it to another weekend, I hope you all have a good one. My weekend is expected to be quiet, so in all likelihood, I shall be busy, because in my life whenever I am expecting something, the exact opposite always happens, or most of the time, which qualifies me to make that statement.
I finished reading the novel, "The Apothecary's Daughter," written by Julie Klassen, last night, it was a good read, albeit disappointing ending, for me at least. However, I may now read Ms. Klassen's first novel, "Lady of Milkwood Manor," if any of you have read this novel, please let me know what you thought of it.
I am late with today's post because I went this morning to do the blood work, I prefer to go early and not have to wait in line for others also doing blood work, it was a good thing too, as quite a large crowd gathered at the clinic shortly after I arrived there, whew, just in the nick of time!
Since I do not have alot on my mind this morning, I thought I would provide you with seven (7) examples of passive voice, and how to fix them.
The sentence construction “(noun) (verb phrase) by (noun)” is known as passive voice or passive construction, because the true subject is relegated to the end of the sentence and is thus acted on, rather than acting, which often weakens the statement.
The solution is simple: Give the focal point of the sentence its due, “(noun) (verb) (noun),” and demote the false subject to the back of the line. Note that not every passive construction is evil, sometimes what seems to be the false subject is worthy of prominence, but a preponderance of passive constructions leads to a wearying read.
1. “There is a considerable range of expertise demonstrated by the spam senders.” The actors in this little drama are the spam spenders, or, to be more active, the spam senders are the actors in this little drama. Direct them center stage, and send the weak “there is” opening packing to the provinces: “The spam senders demonstrate a considerable range of expertise.”
2. “It was determined by the committee that the report was inconclusive.” Again, the subject is weak and indeterminate. Two actors, the committee and the report, are vying for the lead role here, but committee is the bearer of the news about the report, and to place the report the head of the sentence would be to replace one passive sentence with another. Attend to the actors: “The committee determined that the report was inconclusive.”
3. “We were invited by our neighbors to attend their party.” We is stronger than it as a sentence opener, but “our neighbors” is stronger still: “Our neighbors invited us to attend their party.”
4. “Groups help participants realize that most of their problems and secrets are shared by others in the group.” This sentence starts off actively but then turns and bellies up in the middle; emphasizing “others in the group” over “most of their problems and secrets” makes the sentence more active: “Groups help participants realize that others in the group share most of their problems and secrets.”
5. “The proposed initiative will be bitterly opposed by abortion rights groups.” The content may be about the proposed initiative, but that doesn’t preclude given a sentence about it a more dynamic structure: “Abortion rights groups will bitterly oppose the proposed initiative.”
6. “Minor keys, model movement, and arpeggios are shared by both musical traditions.” The writer is detailing key information at the head of this sentence, but starting off with the context is stronger: “Both musical traditions share minor keys, model movement, and arpeggios.”
7. “In this way, the old religion was able to survive the onslaught of new ideas until the old Gods were finally displaced by Christianity.” Remember when I wrote that not every passive voice should be targeted for reconstruction? This sentence is more active, but no more correct: “In this way, the old religion was able to survive the onslaught of new ideas until Christianity finally displaced the old gods.” Perhaps the newcomer, Christianity, should also come later in the sentence.
Again, don’t indiscriminately exterminate passive construction at the expense of the writer’s voice or intent, but do exercise judicial revision to rejuvenate pallid prose.
I know that learning new ideas may be difficult, but if you apply the above, you will see a great improvement in your daily writing, and more important, others will see the improvement!
Have a great weekend and take care out there, they say it is going to get milder, they also say "The Easter Bunny" had a sex change operation.
Topics coming soon:
Art
Politics
Cartoons
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