Talk Tuesday

Date:                                 Tuesday August 17th, 2010
Word of the Day:               rara avis; a rare or unique person or thing; rarity
Weight:                              228 pounds
Goal:                                  lose 100 pounds in one year duration
Pounds to lose:                   96 pounds
Rowing Duration:                80 minutrs, 42 seconds

How about that word of the day, pretty rare eh?  I wonder how people know that I am a Canadian, and a very proud one, I love my country.                                                                         

As Joan Rivers says, "Can we talk?" 

Already,  I can hear the groans and moans coming from you,  but I am just going to talk about life, how bad can that be?

I no longer ask the proverbial question, "What more can happen to me?" because something more always does happen,  that is just the nature of the beast.

I really thought God would give me a break after I endured a traumatic childhood, and more than the usual childhood maladies  (measles, mumps, being short,)  and then in my adulthood, getting asthma, having to stay in the hospital twelve times in one year, watching my weight escalate from 125 pounds to 260 pounds, kidney stones, and a prostatectomy.  I really thought that would be it for a bit.  But no, I then got nasal polyps, and the biggest ones the ear-nose-throat (ENT) surgeon ever saw, became disabled and couldn't walk for over two years, somehow got seborrhea dermatitis,  which I  can't even spell,  had my gall bladder removed,  and finally,  the big C, which stands for Cancer for those of you who have never heard it referred to in that way!   Don't worry, don't worry, I'm fine

Out of all those things, the two I find the most upsetting is being overweight and being very short.  It is so horrible to be a man,  and to be short in height,  as I'm sure very tall women will attest.  I am working on the weight problem, but there is nothing in the world that I can do to stop being short, except wear platform shoes, and naturally, they never come in my size.

Okay, can we now talk about colonoscopies?  If you are out there, and are over fifty years old,  for heaven's sake, go get a colonoscopy.  They really are not that bad, actually, it is the prep work that you have to do the day before that is the worst part of a colonoscopy, and after you do empty yourself out, you will probably find that you weigh less, so keep that in mind.

The first colonoscopy I had was the most uncomfortable and that was only because I wasn't given any medication.  My doctor thought it best not to give me any anasthetic, or drugs,  because my asthma was quite bad at that time,  and the specialist thought that I could run into some trouble if any meds were administered.  So, I was completely awake and conscious,  and I'm willing to bet that the doctor who performed the colonoscopy, and probably everyone else in the operating room, wished I wasn't awake.  To keep my mind off of what they were doing, I kept talking to the people in the room about everything and anything, and most of all, everything that I could see on the monitor.  The first thing that really got my attention was the colour of the inside of my rectum.  It was all pink and fleshy like, not at all what I expected.   Next, I was fascinated with how polyps are removed, and on that day, I had nine of them,  six big ones, and three small ones.  It was like watching a video or arcade game, the instrument would creep up on the polyp and then ZAP, the polyp would be hooked and blasted into oblivion.  It really is interesting to watch, until you realize that this procedure is being performed on you!!!

I am a very curious person and ask people,  and talk about, all kinds of things, especially if I'm nervous,  it can really run the gamut.   As I mentioned, I was trying to forget what they were doing so I talked about anything that my little head could think of,  which naturally brought me to the subject of George Bush.

"Will you shutup already?" asked the proctologist "You're not even American!!!!!"
"But I am human!"
"You're not going to be anything if you don't let me concentrate on what I'm doing!"" quipped the doctor, so I quieted down, a little.

Boy oh boy that is strong coffee, you have to excuse me for a moment, I need to put away the dishes from the dishwasher and I want to read my email.

I always wanted to be a writer as I thought to be an actor you had to be much taller and better looking, besides when I wrote,  I could be anything that I wanted,  I was always loved,  and I always, always got the happy ending.,

One day, I hope to be a published author and if I become successful at it, I may then act again.  I know, I know, I've done plenty of school acting, also community theatre, but I've never had a speaking part in a movie,  nor have I been on Broadway.  These have always been goals of mine, but they may not be in my future, and I'm okay with that,  as I've reached most of my other goals that I consider important.

I tend to be a control-type of person,  and you can do this when you write, you can't when you're an actor; you have to be the way the director wants you to be, which is not my style.  I suppose that is why many actors want to direct.

I wish I could control what goes on in my body.  I have been constipated for the last four days, could you tell?, and I don't understand why.  I eat alot of roughage, and get plenty of fruit and fibre.  It was only until I had a bran muffin that POW!, I plugged up the toilet!, then things finally got back to normal.

Did I tell you that as a child I got to go to the movies every Saturday afternoon.  One of the things that I enjoyed at the movies were the coming atrtactions, which has given me the idea that in my blog, I will advise you of the upcoming topics.  So, coming soon, are my feelings on Oprah, Broadway's original Annie, the one and only Andrea McArdle,  and penis enlargement,  oh grow up (to quote Joan Rivers, yet again!)

They say admission is good for the soul, so here goes:  I can tell you the name of the theatre/show/cinema wherein I saw all the movies that I have ever seen.  Its true, it must be a sickness of some sort.  For example, I can tell you that I saw Cactus Flower at the Odeon York and Wait Until Dark at the Hollywood cinema.  My favourite cinema was a tie between the Odeon Carlton and the University.  Gosh, they were magnificent and beautiful cinemas, I just loved going to see movies at them.

I also love watching Desperate Housewives on television.  Like so many other people, what goes on at Wysteria Lane is of interest to me. 

I don't think I have a favourite housewife, there are so many interesting traits and characteristics on each of the main characters that I couldn't possibly choose just one, which is a testament to just how good a writer is Marc Cherry (this overrun sentence bothers me.)

I am sorry that they decided to kill off the character Edie Brit.  I got such a charge out of Edie,  and I really appreciated that Edie was so honest, she really did remind me of one or two women that are in my life.

Okay, when I start to hit the publish post key, I believe this is God's way of saying that you are done for the day, so that's it folks.

Have a great one!

Later.